theflashyfool | IC inbox @ Golden Peacock

[He tilts his head to the side, jaw tightening, a muscle twitching there.]

What exactly was there to figure out, Shanks? You were the only one who was good enough to go after the One Piece. A natural to step into our captain's shoes.

[ Shanks notes the muscle twitch and actively frowns for a bit, before he downs half of his third glass. ]

This rum isn't bad.

[ A casual beat, then he manages a half smile and a calm tone. ]

I don't suppose I get to decide my own path? Wear my own shoes.

That was what I wanted to do, Buggy. Decide for myself, regardless of what that decision was. I...didn't want to go after the One Piece for me, anyway. I made that promise for you. [ He looks back down into his glass. ]

Didn't you care about honoring our captain at all? Everything he did for us...

[Not just him either, but he thinks the rest of the crew doesn't need to be mentioned.

He takes a moment to order a drink of his own, maybe to try and calm himself before he answers that little response.]

For me? What are you talking about? [He gives Shanks a look. Surely he's-- making a joke out of him, punching down somehow.]

Are you trying to say I twisted your arm into it? It's my fault?

Of course, I did. But...Buggy.... I couldn't just blindly follow that. [ Also, who bothered to ask the kid what he wanted to do? ]

[He gives Buggy a confused look when Buggy seems thrown by his words. It's no joke, or insult. ]

No. I'm saying it was a promise we made together. To get the One Piece. The promise was never for one of us to have it. And the only thing I wanted to do was go on that adventure, together. I wanted to sail together. [ That was his dream, but he still doesn't admit it, not now. Shanks might smile, but it's tinged with sadness, something he tries to keep out of his tone, though it's soft. This isn't everything, of course, but it's what he can say, for now. After all, multiple things can be true at the same time. ]

And I always believed in you. You are a pirate captain. You flourished away from my shadow, didn't you?

[He doesn't know what to say to any of that, really. He wanted to sail together, huh? Well, they could have fucking done that, if Shanks hadn't decided against their promise. If he hadn't delayed it.]

Oh, sure. Definitely flourished. In the East Blue, where I just barely got myself put back together again. [Is that really anything to gloat about? Being a pirate in the East Blue? For all Buggy does indeed gloat about it, praise himself -- it's nowhere near the same level Shanks has reached. He didn't even try to strive for that honestly.

But Shanks said he believed in him, huh? He's not sure what to make of that either, what the complicated mix of feelings that brings up is. He can't even begin to dissect it all.]

Believed in me? How? Come on, Shanks...

But you did. [ Shanks just watches Buggy for a minute. This conversation is going about as well as he thought it would, but considering it's twenty years late, that is fair. He doesn't want Buggy comparing himself to him, he never did, but Buggy is going to, and there isn't anything Shanks can do about it. Maybe having a rival helps Buggy? ]

[ At this point, the half-hearted smile on his face is there by sheer habit and instinct, like the defense mechanism it probably is. ]

What do you mean how? You come on. We came from the same ship. And you're intelligent, plus resilient. You survived Arlong. [ Downing another drink. The bar tender doesn't even seem to wait, just hands Shanks another one like they already discussed this. ]

[Does it help him? Not really. Shanks, no matter what their relationship had been growing up, had always been a glaring reminder of his own faults. What did he have to set him apart? A devil fruit? What a laugh... he'd been the best swimmer on the ship and that had been gone in the blink of an eye --

or the swallow of a fruit, whatever.]

I survived Arlong because I had the help of a stupid rubber boy and his crew of merry idiots. [If he hadn't had a bargaining chip? He wouldn't have.]

Anyway, if you wanted me that bad... there were better ways to show it.

[ And Buggy's view of himself is simply something Shanks might not be able to understand. Not that he has complete confidence in himself, or has no doubts at all, but that level of inferiority when Shanks clearly sees something different in Buggy, it's just something he can't fully grasp. ]

[ There's a soft smile at the obvious mention of Luffy and his crew. It's actually heart-warming to know they helped Buggy. ]

We all have to accept help, Buggy. Not everyone does. [ Not everyone survives when they do. Shanks refuses to let anything negative to be said about accepting help. He helped Luffy, and without his crew? Really? Who was Shanks? There's a dull ache in his chest at even thinking of them. He downs another drink and gets another. ]

What better ways? Enlighten me. [ He sounds earnest to learn that. ]

[He huffs out a sigh, tipping his head as he looks over Shanks, barely containing his irritation at the idiot. He knows-- he's trying here. But this is twenty years of hurt that's not going to be undone.

He also still hasn't really explained himself, has he? Why he quit searching for the One Piece, why he changed his mind.]

You could have come after me to explain back then. [That's the obvious one, isn't it?] Or any time over the past twenty years.

You weren't the only one who lost everything, or who had to start over from scratch. But I couldn't serve under you, not after all that... and not when you didn't seem to care enough to explain. Can you understand that, Shanks?

[Or is he still the bad guy here?]

And I'm here, trying to give you a second chance. But I gotta be honest, Red, I don't always know how to do it.

[ Shanks never said he stopped searching, though. He just diverted his journey, prolonged it. And maybe someday he'll tell Buggy about all of that. But not today. ]

There wasn't any point in chasing after you, and we both know it. Once you're upset, the best thing to do is you cool down. [ And maybe Shanks actually couldn't move after all of that. ] I'm sorry I didn't get in touch, though.

[ He sighs, and Shanks almost says it, almost points out he never asked Buggy to serve under him, just asked him to join him, but he stops. That's not going to really help either of them, is it? Instead, all too easily: ] Of course, I understand.

[ He's not the one who called Buggy the bad guy, after all. ]

Buggy...you don't have to do anything you don't want. If you don't want to, or don't know how to, you can just stop, whenever you want.

Yeah, well. Maybe that was different, Red. But we'll never know now, so-- [What's the point in arguing about it or debating it, right? Maybe he'd have gotten more pissed off if Shanks had come after him, maybe he would have just been glad to not be alone after seeing... what they saw.

Impossible to say, and it's not like they can rewind time.]

I know damn well I don't have to do anything I don't want! [So if he's here, on some level, he must want, right? It's the closest he'll get to saying as much.]

And you don't quit just because you don't know how to do something. I'd never have learned to keep myself pulled together after that damned fruit if I'd just given up.

[ There isn't anything Shanks can say to that - he doesn't have a defense, and this wasn't about giving one. It was about trying to explain. He's not even sure that helped, and he'll just have to let it go. ]

[ He downs another drink and gets another. ]

[ Shanks gives Buggy a smile. ] That's admirable of you.

[ He just wants to be clear he's not forcing this on Buggy. If it's too hard? He's not making him do anything, or even asking or expecting much. At this point, he just doesn't want Luffy feeling in the middle. If it is hard for Buggy and he keeps trying, though? Yes, that speaks for itself. He might be touched, but Shanks doesn't have a way of expressing that, right now. ]

Don't mock me, Shanks.

[Because that sounds distinctly... mocking. Like he's being made a joke of. He breathes out a sigh and looks away, a muscle in his jaw twitching.]

Anyway, are we done with this little talk?

[ His eyes hit the bar, then roll to Buggy, and Shanks' mouth opens to protest he wasn't intending any mockery - he meant it - but Buggy asks the next question and Shanks wonders if it's all a loss, anyway. He did his part; Buggy can either accept it, or continue to hold things over him. It's Buggy's choice. ]

[ All he manages, in the end, is a forced cheerful: ] Of course.

Then I think I'm going to turn in, Red.

[He isn't actually-- sure what to make of any of this, and he needs a moment to digest it, roll it around in his head. Forcing a response now? Not gonna end well.]

Don't pass out in the halls.

Goodnight, Buggy.

[ Shanks says it all too easily with a forced smile, spares Buggy a glance, then goes back to his latest drink. He lifts the drink to Buggy's parting words. ]

I won't. [ He'll just pass out at the bar, instead. He'll be fine. ]

IC inbox @ Golden Peacock

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